Hisame and the Pickle
by NemuiNigen
Summary: You know where this is going...


Hisame and the pickle were finally alone. This was it. After a day that seemed like it'd never come to an end, the swordsman was finally with his secret lover, naked in the hot spring again. Steam surrounded them both, clouding up their vision as well as their mind. Moist moisture in the air laced across their skin in a mix of passion and relaxation, much like Azama's smoking tent. "I'm glad we have this time together, even just for a little bit," Hisame muttered as placed his palm around the pickle's shaft. The wet, rubbery texture of the pickle's skin triggered a sensation of lust within the young samurai. "Let's enjoy it while we can, shall we?"

The pickle trembled, rattled, shivered, and shook. "Oh, Hisame-senpai! What if we get caught?!" he said with blushu spread across its cheek. "Aishiteru, demo…kore wa forbidden desu yo!" Pickle-kun turned away from Hisame, embarrassed much like yaoi fangirl who's spilled all her doujinshi collection on the living room floor at a family reunion. "I don't think I can do this," it cried out.

Though hesitant, Hisame brought the blushing pickle up to his lips and kissed it softly. His lips caressed against its flesh, tasting like a pickle. It was sweet, yet sour like the tears of fictional characters. "Pickle-kun, it's okay! We are alone!" With that, Hisame began. He ran his tongue down the vegetable's spine, taking in its unique, rich flavor. It was sweet, yet sour like the tears of fictional characters. Juice seeped from the tip and stung his sense as he swallowed. "Oh Pickle-kun! I love you more than Adachi loves cabbages!"

His cock twitched and sparked with anticipation, much like a horny fuckboy when they get the perfect ending in porno waifu anime games. Hisame reached a hand down into the waters and between his legs which were spread farther apart than Donnel's corn hole after Virion was finished working his god rod inside him! The young samurai's anus resembled that of a black hole: ready to swallow the entire universe inside itself and leave no survivors, not even Lilith! Hisame continued without hesitation and slid his finger inside himself, moaning out in acid. It's like moaning in ecstasy, but better. His nails picked and scratched at the insides of his poop-shoot, which only sparked an addicting pain in the young man. It wasn't long until he found himself moving his fingers about, trying to stretch his opening. Water teased its way inside, flooding him. "Pickle-kun…" he cooed, slowly bringing the vegetable to his lips once more. "I hope you're ready."

Hisame opened his mouth and inched the pickle between his teeth, teasing at it with every little poke and scrape his mouth gave. He could hear his lover wincing inside his mouth and panting, and it aroused him greatly. His dick began to harden below the waters and slowly grow taller while he moved the pickle in and out of his mouth. Hisame's tongue tasted across its shaft and admired the bumpy texture as he began to suck on it. He could taste a hint of sour juice already leaking from its head. _That's it, don't be shy,_ he thought as he licked up every last sample and swallowed.

Pickle-kun could feel pressure already starting to build up inside him. Juices were flowing wildly like a hurricane of lust inside him as his body screamed for release. "H-Hisame-senpai! I-I can't hold out much longer," he cried from within the moist realm of his lover's mouth. The feeling of the young samurai's tongue assaulting his body inflicted a tickling pain across its stalk. It cried while its lover continued his actions. Saliva swished over the pickle until finally it screamed out and released a large spurt of its juice and seeds directly down Hisame's throat.

The thick air of the hot spring almost felt cool once back out in the open, yet that wouldn't last long. "We're not done just yet," Hisame whispered before removing his fingers from himself. He brought the sun dried vegetable down below the waters and between his legs. It was finally time for the main event: Vegan Edition! With Pickle-kun's tip teasing at his entrance, Hisame moaned and arched his back as he spread his legs one finally time and pressed his lover into him! The bumps across the pickle's surface teased him insides, disturbing his inner trails and caused his entire lower back to shiver. "Ah, Pickle-senpai, you're stretching me!" he moaned very loudly. Hisame tried to reach behind him and grab onto something, only to feel his fingertips slip across the wet marble tiles back constructed the hot spring. "P-Pickle-sama chan!"

Just then, Asugi appeared, standing in the large walkway entrance to the water room, naked and holding a very large lollipop in his hand and with a shockingly confused look on his face. His eyes met with Hisame's and two stared at each other for a moment, not sure what to say. "Um…am I interrupting something, here?" Asugi finally said as he stepped into the warm waters.

Meanwhile, down under and around a corner, Pickle-kun was wiggling their way deeper inside Hisame's chocolate coated tunnel. It was very kawaii. In a sense, it reminded him of his younger days as a wee cucumber in the Vegetable Scouts when he'd be exploring caves. Memories came flooding back to him, spending spoopy nights in the tents with his old brother, Larry the Cucumber, and he could only think how long it had been since they had last spoken. However, that was a problem for another day. Right now, the blushingu pickle wanted to please his lover and he was determined to do _him._

Now back to our regular program. "N-no!" Hisame lied…like a liar. As Asugi made himself comfortable, Hisame attempted to reposition himself to not look so guilty but was finding it difficult to close his legs with a huge vegetable shoved up his ass. The muscles in his anus couldn't decide whether they wanted to reject his green lover or absorb it completely. "Wh-what are you doin' here, Asugi?" he asked timidly while struggling to close his legs.

Asugi gave a passing glance Hisame's way every few seconds while he positioned himself on the other end of the hot spring. He looked almost annoyed to have to share the water with anyone. What was most confusing was where the lollipop had went. Just a moment ago, Hisame could have sworn the candy was in his hand and now it had completely vanished. The young thief was sitting back with his eyes closed and appeared to be clenching his teeth. "Asugi…a-are you okay?" he samurai asked, though not daring to move. He could feel his own sphincter pulsing and reflexes becoming harder to control. His asshole was begging to close up and Hisame winced out of frustration.

"I'm fine," he snapped very bitterly. Though he was worried, Asugi wouldn't back down from a challenge. If Hisame wasn't about to leave then so be it. Deep below the waters, Asugi was having fun for himself, a sort of…midnight treat, you could say. The candy thief's rectum was being invaded his the love of his life: lollipops. No, it wasn't a talking, blushing lollipop; just a normal one. He continued to groan while biting onto his finger to try and drown out the bittersweet pain. It would all be over soon….

Meanwhile, back down in Hisame, Pickle-kun could feel his lover's nerves acting up. Its body felt like it was about to explode, and not in a good way like it had in his lover's mouth. He was actually scared! "H-Hisame, please! I need to come out!" He waited…and waited. Nothing happened. Its voice was lost deep within the samurai shit locker.

Back up top, Hisame was screaming internally. His body was becoming uncontrollable, even as he was watching Asugi leave the hot spring he knew he couldn't hold himself any further. As he released his seed into the waters, his anus tightened and he could feel the pickle snap in two and the lower half quickly rise to the top of the spring. Hisame shouted upon achieving his orgasm, but pleasure ended all too soon when he saw his lover's lower half before him. Seeds and juice spilled from the vegetables inside. The worst part was…Hisame could still feel him. He could still feel Pickle-kun inside of him. As the young man cried out, he took control of his body once again and forced it out of himself. There Pickle-kun was, now: split in two, floating in front of a weeping warrior. "No…P-Pickle-kun. I…I loveued you!"

Pickle-kun was dead.

…..

Hisame faced the boat in the castle river with great grief in his heart, and he wore it on his face as well. Before him was the remains of his loved one, Pickle-kun, surrounded in flowers and sprinkled in fine seasoning salt. At the helm was the very jar and dill plant Pickle-kun was born from. A bow and arrow was clutched tightly in Hisame's hand. He didn't want to do this but he knew it's what Pickle-kun would have wanted. Asugi was standing beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, buddy. Let's get this over with, alright!"

"Yeah…I'm ready," he said with his head hung and a heavy sigh. His heart was still wounded as visions of Pickle-kun's death bubbled to the surface of his imagination. If only he had heard their cries from within his coco grotto then maybe he could have saved it in time! Now he would have to live every day without knowing his lover's touch, scent, or it's cute face, every time Pickle-kun would blushu at him. What hurt most the undeniable fact that it was all his fault!

He readied the arrow, setting the tip aflame while the boat continued to sail through the castle moat. He took aim and pulled back on his bow as tears began to uncontrollably pour down his face. His heart was racing, ready to jump up his throat and out his mouth to chase after Pickle-kun's body and lay to rest with it. It only felt right, yet he knew he had to continuing living. It's what they would have wanted. "Goodbye, my love," he roared! With that, he released the arrow and watched as it quickly closed the gap between itself and the target.

In a flash, the small vessel was up in light and heat…and so was the rest of the moat. Oh yeah…it was lighter fluid! The fire blossomed much like Hisame's anus early that day in the hot spring, and absorbed all it touched. It licked up into the courtyard and devoured the lush green grass. Before Hisame's very eyes the place he had called home was being destroyed. Fire erupted all across the Hoshido capital; buildings collapsed in harmony with the screams of innocent people. Princess Sakura's charred corpse could be seen in the middle of the streets! Setsuna's body had once again become trapped in quicksand and she was now screaming for help! Asama's staff had even been shoved up his own ass!

It was utter pandemonium and Hisame was to blame for it all thanks to just lust of a common vegetable! This wasn't what he had expected to happen at all! Hisame just wanted to shove a pickle up his ass and express his love in a way that felt right to him. Now he had lost everything. The fire had consumed his home, his country, his loved ones, and even Steve for Long Island. Now he was standing alone, naked and afraid with no direction in life now.

The young samurai fell to his knees in defeat and shame and hung his head. Tears fell from the tip of his chin onto the ground below him and he screamed out in agony. There was no reason to live, now. Hisame drew his blade to ready for seppuku, only to see that it too had been burned to a crisp, just like all his clothes. Yet his body had been spared!

All he could think about now was…what had Asugi been doing in the hot springs, anyway?


End file.
